I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its liver damage thursday
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