Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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