I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
