Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
