did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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