why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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