somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
