u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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