absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is wine microwaveable?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
