come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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