glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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