At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
