Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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