Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
