my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
