sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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