Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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