How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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