he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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