i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
