My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
