I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
