What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
