dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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