i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
