You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
In America we eat man semen.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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