So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Welp...herpes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
