oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize