why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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