its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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