yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
