its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
