i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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