absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Quick, to the slutcave!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
