we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
