Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
