Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
