she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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