Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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