i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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