next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
