while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
