So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
