she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
