Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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