What did we do last night that was yellow?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
