Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
