I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
