WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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