He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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