i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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