just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
