you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
