We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
