It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
