theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize