just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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