And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
