do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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