sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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