haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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