Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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