dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
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What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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