My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
